Method to the the madness?

While perusing the Scottish Poetry Library I found this gem of insight...

It seems my subliminal mind was on to something...  It features poetry from both South Africa and Scotland during apartheid.  Thesis topic?  Or at the very least a possible answer to the question, "Hmmmm, South Africa and Scotland, why on earth did you choose them?"

Temporal Distortion from Randy Halverson on Vimeo.

I just want to curl back into bed and watch this all day.

An Innovative Learning Week

My Innovative Learning week started last Thursday with a Vintage Festival and music in an antique bus.

And then I crashed...

Saturday I pushed myself to get out of bed and marched around Edinburgh.  I walked all the way down the Royal Mile, found the Scottish Poetry Library and Holyrood House, and shot an entire roll of film that came out blurry.

That was the night of the aforementioned un-American apple pie...

And then on Sunday I crashed and dragged myself to a movie...

On Monday I got down to business and marched over to The Elephant Cafe (of HP fame) with the express purpose of writing a bunch of overdue emails.  Once I was there and had ordered, I realized that there was no internet...  So I wrote a bunch of other stuff instead.  Maybe there is something magical and inspirational about that place.  Could it be this view?

And then I explored and became a member of every library I could find.

And happened upon Greyfriars Graveyard.

On Tuesday I really pulled myself together and hopped on the train to St Andrews.  Its just beautiful there...

The rest of the week has been rather boring according to my camera.  I (finally) wrote a cover letter and updated my resume, I met with Baha'is for a pancake dinner (not boring), I read Restoration plays until my brains fell out, and then Friday my brains really did fall out as I sat on my bed moving as little as possible and eating ice cream while going through caffeine withdrawals.  (Remind me of this day the next time I even think about becoming addicted to caffeine...)

On Saturday, Sara and I made it to the Farmers Market, which was amazing and then I went to the Baha'i Centre open house, and on the way back took these:

Now I'm off to an Ayyam-i-Ha party and then to Stirling for my uncle's birthday!  Enjoy these Intercalary days everyone!!  Much love, C

Anecdotal Home no. 2

We started our our night in the (then) new food court.  The seven of us devouring huge plates of food from Don's Pake.  The comfort in our friendship was never in the amount of time we physically spent with each other, but in the knowledge of a deep, unshakable shared love.  The conversation was typical for Waimea teens... what should we do?  Beach, obviously, we had Jon with us after all.  We drove down to Hapuna, racing the sun in the soccer mom van.  Once there we (the girls) comprehended our lack of suits and sat on the beach while the boys dove in.  And then, of course, we were all in, disregarding the weight of our thoroughly soaked clothing.  I think I was forced.  I seem to remember shrieking in faked protestation as I was dragged into the waves, but I can't remember now.  It felt like we tumbled and giggled in the waves for hours, but in reality the sun went down all too soon.  Once it was undeniably dark, we shivered back up the hill and spent the evening with photobooth, because, really, is there a better way to end your evening when you're seventeen?

little and BIG Things...

little thing: today i went into the store fully intending to buy chocolate and came out with a mango and milk.  oh haaaaay self control, I knew you'd turn up someday.

BIG THING: I was accepted to write an honors thesis on contemporary South African poetry next year, and I'm incredibly excited!

little thing: i wrote a cover letter today.  finally.  now about those job applications...

BIG THING: I made it to a Baha'i event yesterday (hooray) and I'm all set up for Ayyam-i-Ha parties this weekend!

little thing: my room is clean.  so lovely.

BIG THING: Its now official, my dad, Chris, Annabelle and Grace are visiting me in April, and my mom is visiting in May.  I couldn't be more excited!

little thing: first full day without caffeine.  fasting, i'm coming at you!

BIG THING: Taking vitamin D has changed my life, ohhhhhh sun I misssss you.

Loving this right now.

Anecdotal Home no. 1

The summer we left Boulder Mom, Lexz and I would go bouldering on Sunday mornings.  We would wake up early, stop by Whole Foods for snacks, drive up the mountain a bit, and then giggle our way up to the top of the rocks.  Once we made it we would say prayers, sing songs and enjoy the spectacular beauty of the place that was our home for three years. We would loudly slide all the way down, narrowly avoiding injury and wildlife, and then blast music on the drive home.  I miss those mornings acutely.  I miss the time spent with the coolest people I know and the experience of a shared ritual.  I miss the calm silence and the joyful laughter.  I miss the extreme natural landscape that creates such a unique town. Love Boulder.

Journal: 19 February, 2012

In the middle of my haze of coldness, sickness and exhaustion I started to feel incredibly sorry for myself and ventured out into the sunny, freezing day and went to to the sappiest, most dramatic movie I could find.  I even sprung for popcorn and chocolate.  Now the movie itself (The Vow) was nothing special (in fact, the only time I got chills was during the previews for Titanic 3D), but the act of going to it has me thinking.  I'm not having the typical 'study abroad' experience here, and I've decided that doesn't bother me (if we're being honest the key word there is 'decided').  I've had that already and I think in order to grow, I need something new.  I feel like a student here.  Last night I stayed in with Sara and Steven and made apple pie.  It was full of surprises (as all cooking with Calaandra experiences are), but we laughed and shared music and just generally had a lovely time.  Staying in Edinburgh for Innovative Learning Week for day trips and some family time, makes me feel like a real student.  Maybe these are all just excuses for why this is still a bit confusing and overwhelming, but I do feel like I'm growing up.  Go figure.


Update:
I am indeed staying in Edinburgh for Innovative Learning Week.  Things got crazy after Ireland and I realized that I wanted to stay put (which was good idea because I'm now sick) and I'm going to head over to St. Andrews for the day, and maybe venture up to Aberdeen.  I have to apply for internships, catch up with class work, and plan the rest of my semester.  I'm excited for this week and especially excited for next week because its Ayyam-i-Ha!!  (the Baha'i time of gift giving).  I'm going to make cheese crackers and celebrate with the local community.  And then its fasting!  (more on that later).  Absolutely my favorite time of year.

And for just a bit of self indulgence... I was randomly given a free photo shoot a few weeks ago, and here are some of the pictures...  Awkward?  yes.  But I had fun, so I might as well share!

And just one more thing...  My pillow is done!  So here is a picture of us together :)

Tons and heaps of love, C.

Just Life

Everything is a bit crazy right now...  I'm still recovering from Ireland and battling the resulting cold.  I lost the three most important books in my life (my prayer book, my copy of The Hidden Words, and my journal) on the trip, and that has me incredibly frazzled.  I have a week off from school and I've decided to stay in Scotland and do a few day trips, but I just wrote down everything I have to do and its a bit overwhelming...  Oh life!  So if things are a bit sporadic around here, I apologize.  I'll try to come up with something interesting, and there will definitely be pictures from my little trips and explorations :)  Unfortunately, someone else is reading my journal at the moment (not sure whether to be flattered or creeped out that they didn't return it to the hostel...) and as a result I've lost some of my thoughts, both literally and figuratively.

And here's just a little more Rilke:


Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage.  Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something that wants our love --Ranier Maria Rilke

This Baby.

I want him.

Should be...

I should be catching up on the homework I accidentally didn't do this weekend in Ireland, but, asperusuh, I'm doing everything possible to avoid that reality...

After a crazy few days of reading constantly, turning in essays, and general busyness, I boarded a flight to Dublin on Wednesday night.  I flew Ryanair, which I had been warned about, but honestly, it had nothing on my experiences with Precision Air (full story here).  After getting hopelessly lost in Dublin, alone and at night, I tearfully figured out where I was supposed to be going, and met up with Abby and Brenna.  After that everything turned around!

On our first full day we went all the way across Ireland to Galway and the Cliffs of Moher.  I had never been on a tour quite as touristy as this one, and I spend time breathing deeply so as to avoid a complete tourismpanicattack.  But in all reality, it was completely lovely, and I enjoyed everything we saw.
Here's a few pictures :)

The next day we went on another tour of the countryside.  It was absolutely lovely.  Of course I can't remember the names of the places... but here they are!

We spent Saturday walking around the city and visiting markets, which was lovely.  On Sunday, Jade and I walked across the city and managed to see the medieval district, the 'beer' district, the museum of modern art, the old jail and then finally ended up at the Jameson Whisky tour with Abby and Brenna.  (I now have a lot of knowledge about the production of whisky, which is essentially useless to me... but oh well!) On Sunday morning I went over to Sweny, which is the chemist's shop mentioned in Ulysseus, which was recommended to me by my dear friend Melissa who studied abroad in Dublin last year.  I was welcomed in by her friend, a lovely older gentleman, and had a cup of tea!  It was delightful.

Oh and the nights... All I can say is we were celebrating a 21st birthday and many things happened.  We were serenaded with Irish music, crashed a bachelor's party, pub crawled and laughed until we almost died.  Some things are better remembered than put into words...

Happy Valentine's Day darling everyone!  Much Love, C

Life in Pictures

On Saturday I went for a walk...

Saturday night Katie and I saw the Black Keys (opening act was Band of Skulls who I saw at Rocking the Daisies and didn't enjoy here)...

On Sunday, Sara, Katie and I saw Chasing Owls in Glasgow at the Apple store, lovely...

I'm busy getting ready for my trip to Ireland tomorrow for Abby's 21st.  Its incredibly exciting, but has made this week incredibly stressful...

Here are a few more Edinburgh pictures by Holga...

My next project is to figure out the overlapping exposures...

One more gem of inspiration: 

You are so young, all still lies ahead of you ...be patient towards all that is unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms, like books written in a foreign tongue.  Do not now strive to uncover answers: they cannot be given you because you have not been able to live them.  And what matters is to live everything.  Live the questions for now.  Perhaps you will, gradually, without noticing it, live your way into the answer, one distant day in the future.  --Ranier Maria Rilke

Live the question.  I love this.  For someone who constantly searches every possible answer, while actively avoiding settling on any of them, this is highly reassuring.  I trust Rilke.

Have a lovely, lovely week!  I'll see you when I get back from Dublin!

Love.